Suffering is self-inflicted. The first time I really heard that, or really learnt and understood that, I didn’t actually want to hear it. I preferred to blame someone else for the way I was feeling. To be honest, maybe it was a little bit of enjoying that emotional pain of sometimes feeling sorry for ourselves. It’s true; they are real emotions, we are human beings, and it happens; but when I started to really understand that suffering is self-inflicted, it was my ticket to freedom.
So, if you are ever feeling that you are suffering emotionally or mentally, in some way, or perhaps there is someone in your life who did something, and that really made you feel unhappy, or uncomfortable, or you felt offended – whatever it is, or they did something terrible to you. That relationship has caused you to have some form of emotional or mental suffering, I really want to help you with this video by telling you that it really is self-inflicted. The reason I say that is, we, at the end of the day, choose how we think, and choose how we feel. It is only when we take a hundred per cent responsibility for our own happiness and our own thoughts and feelings that we have this opportunity, as a pathway, out of suffering to help ourselves.
I am going to give you three quick tips.
If ever something happens to you and it triggers you, or you feel really saddened by it, or angry (that’s a good one), or frustrated with someone by it, while in that emotion, the first thing is ‘Awareness’. Have awareness that you actually have this emotional charge running through your body and that something has triggered you.
The second is ‘Acceptance’. We really have to accept what happened. Don’t wish it was any different. Don’t think it was any different. Don’t replay the past over like a movie in your head. Don’t have all these different scenarios of how it could have been or should have been. Just say what happened and accept it as it is. Acceptance is the first step to really start to help yourself.
The third one is ‘Appreciation’. Now that may sound really strange, but the truth is transformation is the discovery of value. If you have a situation in your life that has caused you suffering, the only way to transform and help yourself, and actually grow as a person, and improve and get better as a result of it, is to find value in that.
One thing that you could do is get a coach that could help you.
I personally have done another coaching certification (if you didn’t know), it is called
‘Rapid Results Coaching’. We take any scenario – and there is a whole technique to it – where you close your eyes, and we have a discussion,. You are relaxed. It is through a sequence of questions, where you will find some significant value in any traumatic situation or even a block in your life, regardless of wether you realise that something is blocking you or not.
The point is, the techniques (doing exactly the same things) which I have shared with you is finding value – it is finding the value. Where there is value, there is transformation. So if you have that in your life, that you feel like there is suffering in some way, mentally or emotionally, because of some relationship stress, then it is: Awareness and Acceptance, and when it comes to Appreciation, a good question to help you there, is just to ask, What can I learn from this? What can I learn from this? What can it teach me, and how can I apply that in my life and actually improve? If you’ve got that, you’ve got value.
So, my friends, I hope that’s been helpful. Have a great day, and God bless.